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 Some travelers get anxious about climbing aboard an airplane.  The thought of gravity, thirty-thousand foot elevations and hurtling 560 mph in the sky is unnerving for some in our population.

I’m a little different.  In fact after all of the preliminaries to get me security-approved, I like getting on a plane and relaxing in my seat.  After the stress of the boarding process, I’m happy to look forward to the end of the flight.

My least favorite part of the journey: the dreaded security line.  The line was long as it snaked back and forth around the switchbacks of temporary barriers.  Bumping into people is usually not normal but this guy behind me kept jostling me.

Finally, I turned to look at him and he apologized.  His next sentence followed without a pause, “Why don’t you go to that line?” Two desks of security checkers were in front of us.

“That’s for First Class,” I pointed out to him.

Right away that clumsy oaf push around me and hurried over to the line for classless dudes who have a very small concept of personal space.  My cat-like reflexes saved me from a very embarrassing fall into the people waiting behind me.  It was going to be a long flight home.

When it was my turn for security, I was directed into the naked tube.  That’s the latest security screening unit that sees “everything”.  I assumed the posture of international surrender long before the agent finished instructing me how to do it.  Pictures on the window make quick work of the needed instructions.

Stepping out of the tube, I was halted by one of the agents on the other side.  He informed me that I needed to be scanned again.  Naturally, I turned around to reenter the tube but was rebuffed for doing so.

I don’t think they want passengers to see the highlighted picture on the tube that shows suspicious areas on my private person.  Soon he ordered me back into the tube.  It’s going to be a long flight home.

Once again my physique was teleported to whoever wanted to get another eyeful.  That same security agent informed me that now he had to pat me down.  The same position of universal surrender now was my posture for the third time.  I don’t like being patted down.  It’s going to be a long flight home.