hurting for friends in pain

My friend thanked me for reaching out. There is hurt in that life. Pain is now routine for that soul filled with talent, hopes and dreams.

We are friends. Together our paths have run together for many years. But duration isn’t the main reason for our connection.

Rather we were side by side for years sharing a common vision. It was a vision greater than any one life or group of lives. When we put our shoulders to the wheel we had fun, thought deeply, grew stronger in faith and marvelled together at what only God could do.

Yesterday, I was on the telephone with another friend. There was deep hurt there too. The pain was eking out tears and strangling the voice. All I could do was listen.

There were moments of silence. It was not awkward. Friends are not insecure when there are no words. True friendship is comfortable being together even over the airwaves, just knowing that we were touching each other’s lives.

My email inbox has regular visits with a friend who is also hurting. I read. I pray. I send words of encouragement. Often the words that I send are not mine. They are words from above, inspired in a written book.

A text message came across my PDA screen. It was a cheerful word from a dear friend. There was pain in that life too. Now, it has been years since the agony began. It has subsided some but raises its excruciating presence at surprising moments. I listen, pray and encourage.

It is not just a past sin that disassembled their world. Rejection also adds to their suffering. They have learned in short order who their friends really are.

When someone is caught in a sin the aim is to restore that believer. That grace-task should be taken up by the spiritual. They must do so gently. 

No cover up is ever wise. When sin is not directly rejected but overlooked under the guise of compassion there is a danger for even the spiritual to be tempted to sin as well. Instead, caution should always be present when helping someone who has been caught in a sin.

With the proper precautions in play the goal is to tenderly help someone who has been surprised in a sin. Help them carry their burden. Don’t let the self-righteous, judgmental, or critical people dominate. Act Biblically, do so with mercy and watch God’s grace in action.

Galatians 6.1,2 weekly exposition #39  

photo credit: google image

saints ride over colts

Christians can have a lot of fun. Who created the notion that Christians are boring? Those who are followers of Christ live the most enjoyable lives.

Not only do Christians have fun, they are also very funny. We like jokes like anyone else. Here are two that made me laugh during this Superbowl Sunday.

Billy wins a free ticket to the SuperBowl but when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the nosebleed section–he’s closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Billy sees through his binoculars an empty seat right on the 50 yard line.

He decides to take a chance and makes his way to the empty seat. As he sits down, Billy asks the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” The man says, “No.”

“This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?!” The man replies, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife and I were coming together, but she passed away. This is the first SuperBowl we haven’t been together at since we got married in 1967.”

“Well, that’s really sad,” said Billy, “but still, you couldn’t find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?” “No,” the man replies, “They’re all at her funeral.”

Here is another funny one that made me laugh: Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died and went to heaven.
When he arrived, God showed him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. “This house is yours for eternity. Peyton”, said God. Not everyone gets a house up here.”Peyton felt special indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a huge multi-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Saints logo flag, and in every window, a New Orleans Saints pennant. Peyton said “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question, I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I’m in the Hall of Fame.” God said, “So what’s your point Peyton?”"Well, why does Drew Brees get a better house than me?” God chuckled, and said “Peyton, that’s not Drew’s house . . . it’s MINE.”

photo credit: google image

cheer is a choice

Tuesday was a difficult day for commuting.  The normal hour-long pleasant drive was a tiresome three hours long.  I was almost irritated but instead chose cheer.

Just as I was approaching home another annoying surprise lit up my dashboard.  There is an electronic read-out just below the speedometer.  It gives me real-time updates on my odometer, trip meter, and hour meter.  

Tuesday a warning interrupted all normal information: Service Brake Booster.  I had no idea what a brake booster was.  But, since it had the word “brake” in it, that concerned me.

My schedule for the next several days was full.  I didn’t have time to make an unscheduled visit to Mr. Goodwrench, but this was one of those moments that defines the adage, “Discretion is the better part of valor.”  As soon as I arrived at home I emailed my office, wrote about my predicament, and told them that I might be working from my remote mobile office the next day.

As soon as the service department opened at my local Chevy dealer, I rolled up to the bay door.  Mr. Goodwrench was waiting with a smile.  I told him about my problem. 

Paul assured me that they would do their best to resolve the issue but it would take a few hours.  What?  I didn’t want to hang around for a few hours.  There was an internal  turn-into-a-grouch surge but I chose to be cheerful.

A courtesy shuttle van took me home.  I worked at my apartment.  For hours on end I was uneasy.  What would they find?  How expensive would it be? 

It was frustrating to feel so stranded.  I couldn’t do much without wheels.  Finally, the telephone rang.  I whispered a quick prayer before the expensive bad news.

Instead, Paul said that problem mystified his mechanics.  They could find no problem.  Multiple mechanics confirmed that NOTHING was wrong!  That time it was easy to choose cheer.

The courtesy van picked me up.  I went in and received an extra review of their procedures with assurances that Bubba was safe to drive.  Finally, they sent me to the cashier who charged  me the minimum for shop time.  I almost said something about charging me for doing nothing.  But, all of my past choices to choose cheer had served me well so far so I made that choice one more time.

photo credit: google image

forgettable commute

My office view of the outside world is wonderful. Our building sits on a hill overlooking the neighborhoods in Western Ann Arbor. The snow was falling softly.

Steadily the fluffy flakes kept coming for hours. Soon, a blanket of white covered the ground. White drapped my truck.

My commute home is normally an hour-long trip. That’s when there are no traffic tie-ups.  A forty mile trip without an accident is common but not guaranteed.

The weather always plays a factor in my commute as well.  When the wind blows and precipitation falls, it snarls traffic.  One slip, one false move, driving too fast and hundreds of commuters pay the price of a careless driver.

When the weather turns sour then I think about the drive home.  I took stock of my work, the time and decided to leave early.  If I could get through some of the bottle necks of traffic before rush hour, then I thought that I would be safe. 

Once I was on the road I listened carefully to the radio for any traffic concerns.  Driving East on M-14 I had just passed Gottfredson Road.  Traffic then came to a standstill. 

At that point all vehicles were merely inching along the pavement.  Impatient drivers even made a third lane on the outside shoulder.  But, they were soon stopped ahead as well.

The bad news came over the radio.  An accident had occurred two stops ahead.  It was a fatal collision causing the local authorities to close the freeway.

I waited another 20 minutes.  There was no movement.  That’s when I decided to take matters into my own hands.

An emergency turn around was just ahead.  I put Bubba in AWD and made a U-turn over the snow and climbed over the steep embankment.  Now, I was on my way back the way I had come. 

Next, I found an exit, disembarked the freeway and headed north on back roads.  It was steady but many others were finding this route too.  Cars and trucks clogged up the two lane roads.  Traffic lights added to the sluggish drive home.

Stop and go congestion met me several more times.  Some were on the surface streets.  Others were on the freeway systems.  Multiple spin out accidents dotted the shoulders.  Fender benders left would-be workers frustrated behind the wheel of cars with smashed bumpers and broken wheels.

I arrived home exhausted after over three hours on the road.

photo credit: google image

cold snap go away!

My mornings are fresh and exciting. I look forward to every new day. Lately, however, my mornings begin with a quick look at the day’s weather forecast.

I signed up for a local meteorological report that feeds into my telephone. An email from ClickonDetroit.com comes to my PDA every morning at 5AM. When I boot up my phone, I scroll down to see what the weather will be like.

Lately we have been in a cold snap. I say “lately” very loosely. Temperatures have been in the 20’s or lower. When the thermometer rises over 40 we Michiganders joke that we are in a heat wave.

When the wind chill is calculated the temperatures are scary! The wind chill is how cold the temperatures feel. Static temperatures are one thing. But, add the wind and the temperatures feel even colder. We have had many days in the last several weeks when the wind chill has hovered in the single digit range.

Getting dressed to face these frigid days takes a little longer. Afterall, putting on the layers to keep myself protected from the elements takes a little extra effort. Accessorizing my wardrobe is the challenge.

An overcoat is essential. Wool is my favorite. But, when the temperatures drop I like to wear down. God gave geese a special insulation from the cold. When I grab my down-filled jacket I am expecting the worst. 

But, back to my accessories. Once my coat or jacket is on I usually am patting down all of my pockets. I’m looking for a pair of gloves. Invariably, I find one. But, its mate is hiding some where. The big chicken is afraid of the cold too.

Then, its time to grab my hat. That’s the most practical item to wear into the winter blast. More personal heat is lost through our uncovered noggin than any other body part.

Real styling calls for a scarf. Hanging a warm wrap around my neck feels good. They hang loosely and their loose ends fly around adding a snazzy look to the day’s attire.

I do laugh heartily in my preparation. That’s when I open my refrigerator door. Why? It gives me a blast of warmer temperatures.

One last look in the mirror serves as my final approval. Oh, snap, looking sharp. Look out Old Man Winter here I come. I’m ready for your worst and looking good doing it!

photo credit: bruce fong photography

written instructions: weekly exposition #38

My wife and I enjoyed the anticipation of a family. We talked about every feature from diapers to music lessons to teenage debates. It was a mutual eager anticipation.

One of our strategies was to have written reminders around the house. There weren’t a lot but one in particular resonated with our children. It was on the center piece of our kitchen, the refrigerator door.

The grammar was colloquial. That added to the lesson. Our children could recite this in their sleep.

“If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

This was a mixture of humor, proverbial winsomeness and of course undeniable pragmatic truth. It could be a warning, an exhortation or just a plain declaration. The message authoritatively reminds our children how to order their behavior.

Over the years we had many moments when we humorously recited this written proverb. But, with our humor there was a lot of truth. It was accompanied with many other guidelines that were brought to mind with the catalyst of Mom’s favorite adage.

The Apostle Paul’s instruction to young pastor Timothy does something very similar. He tells Timothy that he hopes to personally visit soon. However, in the meantime he will send written instructions.

The written word from the apostle comes with the same authority as if he came himself. But, that is subtle. Paul is not pushing himself on Timothy. Rather, it is the truth that speaks clearly for itself.

What is clear is the intent of the instructions. If Timothy takes the written instructions and applies them, then the believers that he is teaching will know how to conduct themselves in God’s household. While it may seem like common sense, Christian behavior must follow a standard of approved instruction.

How Christians interact with each other and function when they gather for fellowship requires instruction. At any level of Christian behavior there are guidelines for Christians to follow. That follows as the Apostle describes godliness as a mystery that is great.

Pastors spend their lives unpacking the details of this godly lifestyle to the people that they shepherd. At the heart of this mystery is the person of Jesus Himself. In concise form the life of Christ is outlined.

The incarnation of Jesus is the beginning. He came from heaven to live among men. His life and death and resurrection is the good news. It is written. It is true.

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choosing to fall in love

Soon, after a few weeks I will be driving West. There I will begin serving a wonderful assembly of Christians as their pastor. They have been together for a long time.

I will be the new guy. They will be very familiar with each other but every one of them will be a new to me.  I will need to learn their names, faces and lives.  All of my focus and concentration will embrace each one of them.

Their lives have ups and downs. There have been trials and blessings that mark each of their lives. No one is immune to the difficulties of life. Crises come to all of us without discrimination. When they do it is time to care, encourage and nurture. That’s what pastors do.

But, it is more than maintenance. Instead, it is to offer balm for the sores, water for the thirsty and food for spiritual growth. The care that I bring is for real lives that belong to real people.

Quickly, I have set my mind to win their trust as soon as possible. My goal is to love the people of Sunset Church. My life will be at their service.

My prayer is that together we will accept all who are there. Furthermore, I will accept whoever comes as they are in the name and in the love of Christ. Love will be our hallmark. It will be our reputation in a city where people are looking for real truth, real love, real relationships.

I will be deliberate with my heart. It will be surrender from the day I start. There will be no turning back.

It is more than signing a contract. The laws of man give us a sense of human certainty. But, deep in my spirit is more than just keeping my promises. This is about discovering God’s divine will and then stepping out in faith to act in obedience.

Leadership will be an essential as well.  A shepherd guides the flock to rich pastures to graze.  He protects the sheep during the journey.  Gently gathers the sheep together and keeps them on the path towards growth.

Life that is shared is more than an obligation.  Rather it is about love.  As our Lord gave us a new command to love one another, so I am already falling in love with the people of Sunset.

photo credit: google image

qualifications for servers: weekly exposition #37

I look for opportunities to return to our favorite eateries. It not just good food that brings me back. Nor is it bargains that appeal to me.

Of course quality food means a lot. When it is tasty and reasonably priced, my attention is captured. There’s no use returning if the food is forgettable.

But, when great prices and excellent food combine with superb service, then, that restaurant is a winner. When the wait staff makes the meal a pleasant experience I take note.  This might be the invisible part of a quality server but it serves the restaurant well. Good managers can spot this quality in prospective employees.

In a similar way servers in the church must have specific qualities that mark their lives. If they have abilities that will free up the Elders for spiritual duties, then they might be potential Deacons for the church. But, in spite of maintenance abilities or craftsman skills attitude is necessary as well.

The Apostle Paul writes that these special men must be worthy of respect. That means that people hold these men in high regard for the way that they live their lives. Offbeat criticism does not necessarily negate this quality.

They also have a track record of genuineness and moderation in life. There is clear proof that they know what the deep truths of the faith are and there is consensus that they order their lives according to them. This track record must precede holding any official church office.

Amazingly, the Scripture requires that if Deacons are married then their wives must have a good reputation. They must not be malicious talkers. Careless gossip or slander are practices of meddlers not Godly women.

Finally, they must be men who are devoted to their wife and family. They are deliberate in their initiative to manage their families well. When these qualities are personified in a man who serves the church, he will gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ.

Servers are not elevated into the office of Deacon because they want to serve. Nor are they given that title because they have good skills. These are practically beneficial. But the inner heart of a man must be reflected in his life.  It is a matter of reputation. When, his life has a consistent track record of quality living, then he is the one to be recognized as a Deacon in God’s church.

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rejoining the ranks of the employed

It is true that nothing is certain. Longevity through a contract is never guaranteed. You never know what the future holds.

But, there is something very special about signing an agreement. When a proposal is negotiated in good faith and both parties agree to walk a path together, it is special. uncertainty and tentativeness are realities that we sometimes have to face, but they are just that: temporary.

Security or the feeling of it is so desirable for us humans. The peace of mind that comes is helpful for our tranquility. While trusting God for all of our needs, the endeavor to find steady work is a drive that cannot be ignored for long.

During the world-wide search for my next position, I was determined to continue taking care of my responsibilities. It is a part of my personal DNA. Real men take care of those that God has put in their trust.  After seven months of introductions, personal analysis and the discovery of chemistry one conversation rose high above the others.

In my search I placed a priority on a divine calling. That would be the glue that will seal a deal. This would be the unifying point for a large group of people from different backgrounds, in varying seasons of life, spanning the total spectrum of spiritual levels to agree.

But, with prayers, faithful exploration, tons of faith, endless discussions, more prayer and loads of patience an agreement finally came to fruition. When I signed the agreement, some very special emotions emerged. Those were not surprises but welcomed old friends.

Relief was one of those feelings. Now by faith and with trust in God’s hand for a longterm ministry I could relax my concerns about tomorrow. It isn’t trading in faith for worldly security. Rather, it is the reality of living in a world based on tangible needs.

Trust is another emotion. It feels great when manypeople smile and say that they will trust me to shepherd them: protect, feed and nurture their spiritual lives. They have committed to me their belief that I will seek God’s best on their behalf. I will not let them down.

Hope is freshly saturating my heart and mind.  My determination is to pour my gifts, experience, love and joy into the lives of people.  I am expectant of all that God will do with this church family.

photo credit: google image

california here we come!

Seven months ago I exchanged email with someone who at the time was a total stranger. It was the beginning of a long discourse of decisions and discovery. We each had a need and almost as many options to fulfill it.

Sunset Church of San Francisco needed a pastor. To fill that role they had many choices. Like so many churches with a pastoral position to fill, the parade of resumes was endless.

I had a need as well. My objective was to find a church to serve as their pastor. Contacts all around the world were fascinating possibilities.

Would God’s divine hand bring Sunset Church and me together? How could He make it clear to us both that He was orchestrating a wonderful partnership? Was He calling us together?

Email conversations turned into frequent communications. Telephone calls led to an invitation for a personal visit. I was excited to discover what this church was all about.

Have you ever felt like you were on a stage and everyone in the audience had an equal voice in the next day’s critiques? But, when love and hospitality dominate, there is something supernatural that happens. It is neither mysterious nor mystical. Rather it is a matter of discernment and wisdom.

My wife and I engaged as many people as we could in many different settings. Our objective was simple. Could we fall in love with these people? Would we be able to connect with the leadership team?  We were strangers to each other.  How could so many people make a collective decision and agree on a mutual decision?  This was a dynamic that needed prayer and a move by the Almighty.

Meeting after meeting occured.  I spoke several times.  Many question and answer sessions filled my days with these wonderful people.

It might seem to an outside observer that I was running myself ragged during my visit.  But, I was being energized.  Engaging people on matters of theology, ministry and spirituality is exhilarating for me. 

There was no doubt in our minds.  We could easily see that we could love these people.  Furthermore, there were numerous people that we could also sense the beginning of a reciprocal devotion. 

There were more emails exchanged.  Conversations flowed freely.  Votes were taken.  Finally, an invitation was extended and I accepted.  God made it clear that we were called to be together.  We are moving to California!

photo credit: google image